Antihystemeticos

We have rode the shark into the JW Marriot, where El Capitan and I are posing as guests to try to get him some anti-histematicos for his ankles and elbows are swelling in massive quadrants of bug bites which are itching a great many times more than mine from the same flying ant/fly that literally slices open your skin and latches onto the large drop of blood that swells out of this invasive technique.

We came in with the plan of walking past the front desk and him asking "so i'll just see you in the room?" to me and me acknowledging that and heading for the room. But once we got to the door and the doorman was straight out of Cinderella, with the coattails and all, I feared they might require some sort of clearance for the elevators, so I just said "yeah i'll see you up there, but i'm gonna make a call" because I saw the phone sign.

I stood in the booth for what seemed to be 5 minutes talking to myself about a deal gone south and how I was going to have to stay an extra day or two to take the clients out to a meeting and no i'm not seeing anyone on the side how could you even think that? I'm in the hotel right now, and so on. Once I figured he had the time he needed, I ventured out into the vast open air lobby and was hoping he had not gone through with the plan of meeting me on the 6th floor somewhere. He came trotting up and said "they sent me to the gift shop but they didn't have any. The front desk is looking for something now."

We are a few days past laundry day without having properly observed laundry day. I have the patched up pants (mother did a fine job, i'm just saying), my journal sticking out of the back pocket and the bright yellow bandanna dangling long all pirate style over my redneck and the Mindfold strapped on the forehead just because, well two reasons, you never know when you need the Mindfolded and let's be honest, it looks good on the bright colored bandannas on my handsom head (See Dr. Mindlab post for a good illustration of what I mean) and I haven't shaved in a month.


El Capitan is still wearing Frankenpants and his badass leather jacket and even though its 11pm on a Sunday night and all the pharmacies are closed which is why we are trying to swindle the JW Marriot out of allergy medication, he's got his flight shades on his head. So we are chilling with me writing this feet up on the coffee table wishing i had my ipod, and El Capitan is fiddling with his phone which is ringing. In my journal I am writing that he is faking a call that is all business-like so that as we sit in the lobby and he paces Frankenpants up and down the tile floor saying things like "I'll call him at 6am tomorrow, sir," and "oh of course, I know what is wrong its the (made-up sounding computer part name) underheating" I really did think he was just keeping the shark ridden, but upon further clarification it was in fact an actual business call beyond perfecto in its uncanny timing. But that's just how El Capitan rolls.

I am trying to look intent on intently writing all this down as he comes and taps me on the shoulder. I get up and he nods over his shoulder to the concierge who is following us to the door. I see that the VIP treatment is occurring so I adjust the Mindfold straight on my head and slip this book back in my pocket -- its my very first page in this new journal that is a size smaller moleskine than the previous batch which means it fits in my back pocket i never should have left it in the first place bigger is not always better -- and we head to the revolving doors, but the concierge steps in front of us to Cinderella's charioteer who leans his head much too far over for the top hat to stay on without adhesives and is nodding to the man's words to boot. That was when I knew this whole thing was a farce and I needed to keep my guard up. A bit too smooth. El Capitan is both listening to what is being said and translating it to me.
"He will send a car to pick up the goods from an open pharmacy or I can ride there. Then in Spanish "I'm just gonna ride there because I will want to meet my friend out after that."
And before we know it we are being usered towards a car that has been magically appearancized in the roundabout that nobody ever drives their own cars thru, but is only driven in by drivers. I take one look at the SUV and think of my thrilling experiences in Ecuadorian pharmacies and opt for trying to call the folks one more time (mom it was busy the three times I called on Sunday) before getting to that drink that we passed up for hopeful pharmacy journies earlier. I tell El Capitan this in as few as words as possible so as to not hinder his swift ride and I have to admit, a churkle which is a manly giggle, slipped out of my throat so I hurried away from the overcivilization and towards Shooters. But something got a hold of my idea machine and it came back with 'wait and wave to him as he's being driven to the pharmacia to get one last laugh.' So the car came around the circle and out of the hotel to pass me on the corner sidewalk waving with both hands and even kind of hopping like a fool to make sure he sees me. Which made the car stop. Whoops. I'm on my way crossing the street on the hopes that I don't get wrangled back into such a translatable drama, 'cause I sure don't want to get in that car.

So I am yelling over my shoulder "just wanted to get one last laugh in I didn't mean for you to stop."
"No no no," he's yelling back "it was perfect what you did. I was going to get him to stop at some point."
"But why didn't you just let him take you there?"
"Because he'll do it for a lot cheaper" and the taxi he had hailed as we were crossing the street stopped at his feet.

Frankenpants

After we dried off we made it to dinner where Capitan said "you know, its gonna be a cold night in these shorts I made today." To which I replied, "we should get some whisky, needle and thread and and go to the park in the middle of town and sit down to let me watch you sew," (from my perspective this turned out to be a most brilliant idea). We spent the rest of dinner trying to learn the words for needle and thread. We procured the prementioned items with little resistance and got the pant legs out of the trash from the room and headed to the fountain in the square.

The amount of laughter that came out of my mouth over the next hour of sitting by El Capitan and cheering him on in trying to sew his pant legs back on, was likely in some way proportional to the amount of Clan Macgregor (proceed with caution) that went into my mouth. But that would be to simplify things, and the method of sewing El Capitan was inventing began with the words "you know, I planned on sewing back in the room, because then I wouldn't have to sew these legs back on..."
"Heavens, don't sew your legs!"
"...while i'm not wearing the damn things."



A note on this second picture, I did not purposefully put the bubbles in the shot I like to call Bubbleworld. The camera elves did that with a perfect eye for detail, because if it makes you think of faeries dancing about to cast a spell, or fizzy lifting drinks, then you are on the right track.


While this was going on, people were strolling by and we got three reactions. One was to look away as if some poor chap sewing his pants together was a disgrace; the second was for people to take a double-take and see that, yes, he is sewing his pants together, and laugh their fool heads off, this we counted as a success; and then folks of our age and nothing better to do would stop by to talk, and share a drink. I had to continually turn away a swig of puntas from the Licoria store owner's son. He kept trying to invite us to his place because there was going to be chicas, but we had to point out that El Capitan needed to sew his pants together and wasn't in any shape to go anywhere until that was completed. They taught us the Mindo handshake before they left - a right handed slap, then a fist punch (to the other's fist, jeez).

"Sewing underneath my legs is the worst, i'm just gonna go with it and hope it holds."[Frankenpants]

You will notice in the shot called Frankenpants that he did not bother to line up his right leg in such a way that the tear away above the boot is actually from years of that heel stepping on what used to be the back of the pants. I can't finish the Frankenpants until I mention that not 5 minutes later one leg tore off very quickly. We stopped in front of a bar and he re-did it in a matter of minutes, being a professional on-body sewer at this point. A few kids came by to laugh and we exchanged the Mindo handshake which impressed them. After laughing at El Capitan and his pantalones, to which each time El Capitan replied "earlier today I needed shorts, but now I need pants," they inquired about the Mindfold. But weren't much interested beyond the sleep mask aspect. Some people just don't get It.

But we do.
We went to second dinner at Out of Babylon, again. We got there and it was totally dark so we asked the folks outside if the restaurant was open (and most whenever I say We did something involving the Spanish language, that means El Capitan did, or he forced me to stand up for myself and butcher a simple sentence); and they said of course, it was just that the power was out and we'd have to eat by candlelight if that was alright. I said in English "alright? we don't need any light at all," and I slid the Mindfold down over my eyes with a straight face.
The next pictures are of a game in which we 'Mindfinded the scotch.' The ingredients you need for this are 1)Mindfold 2)Scotch 3)a restuarant that doesn't mind you bringing your own scotch in 4)candlelight for the mood and photo ops. This was a basic game where the Seer takes a glass of scotch and places to the right or left in front of the Mindfolder who then uses whatever technique they find appropriate to take their guess by reaching their right or left hand out for the drink. If they are correct and find the drink, they get a sip, if incorrect, the Seer receives the sip. We played a good 10 rounds and each of us had better than 50% success, thanks, quite possibly, to my faulty memory. We also were able to enlist our server for a round and he got it right, and took the entire 2oz shot instead of a sip, because we forgot to tell him that part of the rules.
Here is me with my challenge laid before me.














Ohhh i'm wrong.













Here is El Capitan with his challenge laid before him.













Success!!














We then went to the bridge for a final toast to Mindo, and here is mainstreet Mindo at midnight