The fourth (unsolicited) chinwig grab occurred last night. El Capitan and I are in an Irish bar finishing the night off early with a last beer. He is Mindfolding the patio while I am looking over the terrace feeling the friday night's pregnancy of revelry readying to explode like streamers into the dark night. The neons colors and overlapping of loud musics thickening the air. I am caught up and floating more than standing, until a short frenchman speaking english that I am not listening to has breached our night. He's trying to cheers us, El Capitan makes a deft move of raising his glass within millimeters of a perfect, mug-centered clink with the man's. Now he is turning his fragmented attention to my distance and pulls me back into my body with harsh sounds, which I find to be him speaking to me when I turn to give him an empty look.
He tries to raise his glass to me, but I am more interested in the distance between things right now, than bringing them together. So I turn away from this intrusion. He doesn't understand or thinks I am being funny, but I speak not a word and turn back to the night that has swelled more in my absence. He's trying again and I am wasting valuable thoughtspace ignoring him so I turn again to say No, when he grabs the chinwig and gives me a swift waggle.
That settles it, I hold up my mug to his lowered glass of some sort of liquor and cocacola drink on ice. This makes it simple to clink my glass at a higher angle than his and pour a good dollop of my beer into his drink. In his condition there was no way for his eyes to reach all the way down to his hands to catch this so we both turn away happy.
I go back to staring at the sky above the city and hear it calling me to dreams. We leave our beers unfinished and head back to the room.
Seriously, what is with this? Four men have waggled me by my chin in the last month.
(How can I get the ladies to join in?)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The short list
Things that I could do without in Ecuador:
* Cheese, I love thee, but ye loveth me not here.
* Kissyface greetings. Especially the taking-leavings where I am not as able to slip away unnoticed without brushing cheeks and making puckering smoochy sounds.
* Smoking in most every establishment
* Walking around at rush hour, there are no emission regulations, on vehicles, as discernible by me.
* Haggling is the closest approximation to the opposite of my methodology I have yet experienced.
* Overrun of dogs and consequent lack of cats. El Capitan tells me the dog population has decreased dramatically and he misses that (Dogs they rule the night). But to me there are still too many; they just wander the street which so far is interesting, but i'd trade it for cats.
Things I hold in the highest:
* Fresh juice, everywhere all the time. This is heaven for what was an Odwalla-for-breakfast (at lunchtime) drinker.
* Plates of the day. Since I can't really understand Spanish at talking speed, I usually view ordering Almuerzos (lunch) or Meriendas (dinner) where you get a soup, juice, plate of rice, meat and veggies/beans and a desert for less than $2 as a gamble and sometimes i lose but its fun with chance!
* Not getting carded for anything! Finally I appear old enough.
* The climate right now is perfect warmish in the days then cooling at night.
* Cheese, I love thee, but ye loveth me not here.
* Kissyface greetings. Especially the taking-leavings where I am not as able to slip away unnoticed without brushing cheeks and making puckering smoochy sounds.
* Smoking in most every establishment
* Walking around at rush hour, there are no emission regulations, on vehicles, as discernible by me.
* Haggling is the closest approximation to the opposite of my methodology I have yet experienced.
* Overrun of dogs and consequent lack of cats. El Capitan tells me the dog population has decreased dramatically and he misses that (Dogs they rule the night). But to me there are still too many; they just wander the street which so far is interesting, but i'd trade it for cats.
Things I hold in the highest:
* Fresh juice, everywhere all the time. This is heaven for what was an Odwalla-for-breakfast (at lunchtime) drinker.
* Plates of the day. Since I can't really understand Spanish at talking speed, I usually view ordering Almuerzos (lunch) or Meriendas (dinner) where you get a soup, juice, plate of rice, meat and veggies/beans and a desert for less than $2 as a gamble and sometimes i lose but its fun with chance!
* Not getting carded for anything! Finally I appear old enough.
* The climate right now is perfect warmish in the days then cooling at night.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Welcome to the MindLab
Alright, El Capitan made me promise I wouldn't talk about the injections I had to give him for his back pain. So don't ask.
Into the Fold
Once at Shooters I seemed to have stepped into a voidhole and fell into myself. Deepression and ignoring everybody all night except to order a drink or two. Even when folks were referencing me or speaking to me directly I was ignoring. I was feeling not thrilled being in Quito after the idyllic Mindo, but after a couple of hours of this deep silence something clicked in the back of my head or somewhere near the back of the head and I decided to move into interaction.
Just a bit ago when I was writing the outcome of the JW Marriot escapade at the bar here, one of the patrons tried to speak with me as I was writing. I ignored the words because my head is already full of them and that's why i'm writing can't you see that? So I got to the end and the click and I said,
"thank you for your patience, Atlanta and No."
Like I said I had gotten to the end of writing at that moment but faked it a bit more to let her mull it over. Yeah, I'm a player, but its an entirely different game i'm into.
"Wait, oh, let's see...where are you from and, wait, no hmmm. I can't remember the second question."
"I set down my pen, removed my glasses and was rubbing the bridge of my nose..."
"Uhm" she's had many beers at this beyond midnight point "oh yeah, are you tired?"
"Correct." And I pull the Mindfold down from my bandanna over my eyes.
The world shrinks as the majority of my sensory intake is reduced to a vast black (with the rare faulty pinprick of light from the nose area that needs to be revisited by the manufacturer; might just have to buy the whole company to fix this issue) not a complete eradication, mind you, for when the eyes are open within the fold they are still active and the brain portals they feed are still open accepting the darkness as if it were the picture of the world currently surrounding the mind. The initial urge is to fall into this security and act upon it as if it were truthed. But in this instance the dispellation of such comfort was in the shape of a crowd's roar at something I mentally picturated as a whisp of draft by my cheek that did make me reflexively jerk my neck and head back a half an inch.
"The bartender's sister just tried to kiss you." El Capitan is chuckling and probably rolling that 50 centavo piece across his knuckles while standing behind the bar.
I sat on this for a moment trying to imagine why the initial gambit into this Mindfold was for a stunningly gorgeous girl to sneakify me in such an abrupt manner. We certainly have not exchanged any meaningful words across the language barrier; now you can see why my theory of how stunning I look in this attire is brewing! So I realize I need to play this one cool and I turn to the asker of drunken smalltalk questions, and say "can you tell her to try again?" I sit back with a lilt to my head and stroke my chinwig. She starts "por favor," and I jump in both hands on the bar "I didn't say please" and flash that looney smile that I can't hold back at times. If they are going to be introduced to the Mindfold I ought to make sure its memoric. Too many beers girl swings her voice hole towards my unseeing sound receptors and I focus in on her head which says "it doesn't translate without the Please." I could care less, I've made the ruckus, now I settle into listening for silent movements and am rousing laughters with my dodgings that most times were for nothing, surely not kisses.
The girls of the bar enjoyed this and similar sillinesses narrated by El Capitan's experienced Seership over the situation. So much so that they invited us to go dancing. Which is when the following Mindfolded recordation of the conversation on the previous page of my journal captured the hilarity of the night's merciless pouring of darkness into the Mindfolded open to receive such nonlumination. The next day the sightless writing was easy enough to make out because it took up the whole page.
"Wanna go dancing with us?"
"I didn't even go dancing with my wife."
"You have a wife?"
"Not anymore, I wouldn't go dancing with her."
For pete's sake, its Reggaetone. Have you ever had to listen to that schlop?
Just a bit ago when I was writing the outcome of the JW Marriot escapade at the bar here, one of the patrons tried to speak with me as I was writing. I ignored the words because my head is already full of them and that's why i'm writing can't you see that? So I got to the end and the click and I said,
"thank you for your patience, Atlanta and No."
Like I said I had gotten to the end of writing at that moment but faked it a bit more to let her mull it over. Yeah, I'm a player, but its an entirely different game i'm into.
"Wait, oh, let's see...where are you from and, wait, no hmmm. I can't remember the second question."
"I set down my pen, removed my glasses and was rubbing the bridge of my nose..."
"Uhm" she's had many beers at this beyond midnight point "oh yeah, are you tired?"
"Correct." And I pull the Mindfold down from my bandanna over my eyes.
The world shrinks as the majority of my sensory intake is reduced to a vast black (with the rare faulty pinprick of light from the nose area that needs to be revisited by the manufacturer; might just have to buy the whole company to fix this issue) not a complete eradication, mind you, for when the eyes are open within the fold they are still active and the brain portals they feed are still open accepting the darkness as if it were the picture of the world currently surrounding the mind. The initial urge is to fall into this security and act upon it as if it were truthed. But in this instance the dispellation of such comfort was in the shape of a crowd's roar at something I mentally picturated as a whisp of draft by my cheek that did make me reflexively jerk my neck and head back a half an inch.
"The bartender's sister just tried to kiss you." El Capitan is chuckling and probably rolling that 50 centavo piece across his knuckles while standing behind the bar.
I sat on this for a moment trying to imagine why the initial gambit into this Mindfold was for a stunningly gorgeous girl to sneakify me in such an abrupt manner. We certainly have not exchanged any meaningful words across the language barrier; now you can see why my theory of how stunning I look in this attire is brewing! So I realize I need to play this one cool and I turn to the asker of drunken smalltalk questions, and say "can you tell her to try again?" I sit back with a lilt to my head and stroke my chinwig. She starts "por favor," and I jump in both hands on the bar "I didn't say please" and flash that looney smile that I can't hold back at times. If they are going to be introduced to the Mindfold I ought to make sure its memoric. Too many beers girl swings her voice hole towards my unseeing sound receptors and I focus in on her head which says "it doesn't translate without the Please." I could care less, I've made the ruckus, now I settle into listening for silent movements and am rousing laughters with my dodgings that most times were for nothing, surely not kisses.
The girls of the bar enjoyed this and similar sillinesses narrated by El Capitan's experienced Seership over the situation. So much so that they invited us to go dancing. Which is when the following Mindfolded recordation of the conversation on the previous page of my journal captured the hilarity of the night's merciless pouring of darkness into the Mindfolded open to receive such nonlumination. The next day the sightless writing was easy enough to make out because it took up the whole page.
"Wanna go dancing with us?"
"I didn't even go dancing with my wife."
"You have a wife?"
"Not anymore, I wouldn't go dancing with her."
For pete's sake, its Reggaetone. Have you ever had to listen to that schlop?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Antihystemeticos
We have rode the shark into the JW Marriot, where El Capitan and I are posing as guests to try to get him some anti-histematicos for his ankles and elbows are swelling in massive quadrants of bug bites which are itching a great many times more than mine from the same flying ant/fly that literally slices open your skin and latches onto the large drop of blood that swells out of this invasive technique.
We came in with the plan of walking past the front desk and him asking "so i'll just see you in the room?" to me and me acknowledging that and heading for the room. But once we got to the door and the doorman was straight out of Cinderella, with the coattails and all, I feared they might require some sort of clearance for the elevators, so I just said "yeah i'll see you up there, but i'm gonna make a call" because I saw the phone sign.
I stood in the booth for what seemed to be 5 minutes talking to myself about a deal gone south and how I was going to have to stay an extra day or two to take the clients out to a meeting and no i'm not seeing anyone on the side how could you even think that? I'm in the hotel right now, and so on. Once I figured he had the time he needed, I ventured out into the vast open air lobby and was hoping he had not gone through with the plan of meeting me on the 6th floor somewhere. He came trotting up and said "they sent me to the gift shop but they didn't have any. The front desk is looking for something now."
We are a few days past laundry day without having properly observed laundry day. I have the patched up pants (mother did a fine job, i'm just saying), my journal sticking out of the back pocket and the bright yellow bandanna dangling long all pirate style over my redneck and the Mindfold strapped on the forehead just because, well two reasons, you never know when you need the Mindfolded and let's be honest, it looks good on the bright colored bandannas on my handsom head (See Dr. Mindlab post for a good illustration of what I mean) and I haven't shaved in a month.
El Capitan is still wearing Frankenpants and his badass leather jacket and even though its 11pm on a Sunday night and all the pharmacies are closed which is why we are trying to swindle the JW Marriot out of allergy medication, he's got his flight shades on his head. So we are chilling with me writing this feet up on the coffee table wishing i had my ipod, and El Capitan is fiddling with his phone which is ringing. In my journal I am writing that he is faking a call that is all business-like so that as we sit in the lobby and he paces Frankenpants up and down the tile floor saying things like "I'll call him at 6am tomorrow, sir," and "oh of course, I know what is wrong its the (made-up sounding computer part name) underheating" I really did think he was just keeping the shark ridden, but upon further clarification it was in fact an actual business call beyond perfecto in its uncanny timing. But that's just how El Capitan rolls.
I am trying to look intent on intently writing all this down as he comes and taps me on the shoulder. I get up and he nods over his shoulder to the concierge who is following us to the door. I see that the VIP treatment is occurring so I adjust the Mindfold straight on my head and slip this book back in my pocket -- its my very first page in this new journal that is a size smaller moleskine than the previous batch which means it fits in my back pocket i never should have left it in the first place bigger is not always better -- and we head to the revolving doors, but the concierge steps in front of us to Cinderella's charioteer who leans his head much too far over for the top hat to stay on without adhesives and is nodding to the man's words to boot. That was when I knew this whole thing was a farce and I needed to keep my guard up. A bit too smooth. El Capitan is both listening to what is being said and translating it to me.
"He will send a car to pick up the goods from an open pharmacy or I can ride there. Then in Spanish "I'm just gonna ride there because I will want to meet my friend out after that."
And before we know it we are being usered towards a car that has been magically appearancized in the roundabout that nobody ever drives their own cars thru, but is only driven in by drivers. I take one look at the SUV and think of my thrilling experiences in Ecuadorian pharmacies and opt for trying to call the folks one more time (mom it was busy the three times I called on Sunday) before getting to that drink that we passed up for hopeful pharmacy journies earlier. I tell El Capitan this in as few as words as possible so as to not hinder his swift ride and I have to admit, a churkle which is a manly giggle, slipped out of my throat so I hurried away from the overcivilization and towards Shooters. But something got a hold of my idea machine and it came back with 'wait and wave to him as he's being driven to the pharmacia to get one last laugh.' So the car came around the circle and out of the hotel to pass me on the corner sidewalk waving with both hands and even kind of hopping like a fool to make sure he sees me. Which made the car stop. Whoops. I'm on my way crossing the street on the hopes that I don't get wrangled back into such a translatable drama, 'cause I sure don't want to get in that car.
So I am yelling over my shoulder "just wanted to get one last laugh in I didn't mean for you to stop."
"No no no," he's yelling back "it was perfect what you did. I was going to get him to stop at some point."
"But why didn't you just let him take you there?"
"Because he'll do it for a lot cheaper" and the taxi he had hailed as we were crossing the street stopped at his feet.
We came in with the plan of walking past the front desk and him asking "so i'll just see you in the room?" to me and me acknowledging that and heading for the room. But once we got to the door and the doorman was straight out of Cinderella, with the coattails and all, I feared they might require some sort of clearance for the elevators, so I just said "yeah i'll see you up there, but i'm gonna make a call" because I saw the phone sign.
I stood in the booth for what seemed to be 5 minutes talking to myself about a deal gone south and how I was going to have to stay an extra day or two to take the clients out to a meeting and no i'm not seeing anyone on the side how could you even think that? I'm in the hotel right now, and so on. Once I figured he had the time he needed, I ventured out into the vast open air lobby and was hoping he had not gone through with the plan of meeting me on the 6th floor somewhere. He came trotting up and said "they sent me to the gift shop but they didn't have any. The front desk is looking for something now."
We are a few days past laundry day without having properly observed laundry day. I have the patched up pants (mother did a fine job, i'm just saying), my journal sticking out of the back pocket and the bright yellow bandanna dangling long all pirate style over my redneck and the Mindfold strapped on the forehead just because, well two reasons, you never know when you need the Mindfolded and let's be honest, it looks good on the bright colored bandannas on my handsom head (See Dr. Mindlab post for a good illustration of what I mean) and I haven't shaved in a month.
El Capitan is still wearing Frankenpants and his badass leather jacket and even though its 11pm on a Sunday night and all the pharmacies are closed which is why we are trying to swindle the JW Marriot out of allergy medication, he's got his flight shades on his head. So we are chilling with me writing this feet up on the coffee table wishing i had my ipod, and El Capitan is fiddling with his phone which is ringing. In my journal I am writing that he is faking a call that is all business-like so that as we sit in the lobby and he paces Frankenpants up and down the tile floor saying things like "I'll call him at 6am tomorrow, sir," and "oh of course, I know what is wrong its the (made-up sounding computer part name) underheating" I really did think he was just keeping the shark ridden, but upon further clarification it was in fact an actual business call beyond perfecto in its uncanny timing. But that's just how El Capitan rolls.
I am trying to look intent on intently writing all this down as he comes and taps me on the shoulder. I get up and he nods over his shoulder to the concierge who is following us to the door. I see that the VIP treatment is occurring so I adjust the Mindfold straight on my head and slip this book back in my pocket -- its my very first page in this new journal that is a size smaller moleskine than the previous batch which means it fits in my back pocket i never should have left it in the first place bigger is not always better -- and we head to the revolving doors, but the concierge steps in front of us to Cinderella's charioteer who leans his head much too far over for the top hat to stay on without adhesives and is nodding to the man's words to boot. That was when I knew this whole thing was a farce and I needed to keep my guard up. A bit too smooth. El Capitan is both listening to what is being said and translating it to me.
"He will send a car to pick up the goods from an open pharmacy or I can ride there. Then in Spanish "I'm just gonna ride there because I will want to meet my friend out after that."
And before we know it we are being usered towards a car that has been magically appearancized in the roundabout that nobody ever drives their own cars thru, but is only driven in by drivers. I take one look at the SUV and think of my thrilling experiences in Ecuadorian pharmacies and opt for trying to call the folks one more time (mom it was busy the three times I called on Sunday) before getting to that drink that we passed up for hopeful pharmacy journies earlier. I tell El Capitan this in as few as words as possible so as to not hinder his swift ride and I have to admit, a churkle which is a manly giggle, slipped out of my throat so I hurried away from the overcivilization and towards Shooters. But something got a hold of my idea machine and it came back with 'wait and wave to him as he's being driven to the pharmacia to get one last laugh.' So the car came around the circle and out of the hotel to pass me on the corner sidewalk waving with both hands and even kind of hopping like a fool to make sure he sees me. Which made the car stop. Whoops. I'm on my way crossing the street on the hopes that I don't get wrangled back into such a translatable drama, 'cause I sure don't want to get in that car.
So I am yelling over my shoulder "just wanted to get one last laugh in I didn't mean for you to stop."
"No no no," he's yelling back "it was perfect what you did. I was going to get him to stop at some point."
"But why didn't you just let him take you there?"
"Because he'll do it for a lot cheaper" and the taxi he had hailed as we were crossing the street stopped at his feet.
More Falls!
We hiked out of Mindo and down a dirt road. Everything is massive and verdant and beautiful and there were many places to take a photo like this one.
We followed banners across the dirt road into a banana plantation and up the hills. We passed a great deal of swingable vines. El Capitan became Indiana for a swing. We reached the first falls and I was lagging and when I came around the corner off the bridge of two bamboo poles strapped together, he had already scrambled to the top of the falls.
Having taken my time and the trail I had a less accomplished pose.
Even though these were the only falls pictured on the banner, we pushed on. Higher and higher up the mountain. We crossed the stream many times and I had to have a go with getting lost in the Mindfold as I tried to climb to a boulder for a pose. Getting back proved to be something of a trial. [video]
Up the mountain and up even more. El Capitan reached windedness and I scouted ahead. I saw what I needed to and returned with a peeled and unpeeled orange off the trees over the bend. I handed the unpeeled one to El Capitan and said "here's for a spot of energy until we get to what appears marvelous. Let's go."
"Have you tasted these oranges already?" El Capitan asks as he sucks on that beautiful orange orange. "Nope, I wanted you to have the first one."
He spits it out. My mind races, is there some poisonous orange disease in the Andes I don't know about? Have I just killed El Capitan? I better hurry up and taste mine.
I tear a hole in the peel, at least we'll die together. I suck the horribly sour juices out of the unripe orange. "Sorry, man. That's horrible." And we toss the oranges aside. Then this picture takes us.
As soon as you crest that last hill, you can see it. Its the biggest waterfall i've ever experienced alone (Niagara is huge but so are the crowds). Must've been 120 feet. But no more than a stream you could step across at the top. The pictures are laughably weak in the face of this fall's majesty.
So I convince El Capitan (believe me, his antics are over-represented because I am more often carrying the camera, not because he is gullible or easily convinced of the potential hilarty that could arise from whatever we are doing) to go tag the waterfall. I am skipping the first set of photos, because when he touched the falls, he was blocking his own arm from the camera so it wasn't official. The second round he went in with Gusto, he was going to add this Cascadas to his repotoire of tagged falls and I was cheering him on...until he slipped and then I started laughing. He was right in the falls again.
The face of a true Waterfall tagger.
We followed banners across the dirt road into a banana plantation and up the hills. We passed a great deal of swingable vines. El Capitan became Indiana for a swing. We reached the first falls and I was lagging and when I came around the corner off the bridge of two bamboo poles strapped together, he had already scrambled to the top of the falls.
Having taken my time and the trail I had a less accomplished pose.
Even though these were the only falls pictured on the banner, we pushed on. Higher and higher up the mountain. We crossed the stream many times and I had to have a go with getting lost in the Mindfold as I tried to climb to a boulder for a pose. Getting back proved to be something of a trial. [video]
Up the mountain and up even more. El Capitan reached windedness and I scouted ahead. I saw what I needed to and returned with a peeled and unpeeled orange off the trees over the bend. I handed the unpeeled one to El Capitan and said "here's for a spot of energy until we get to what appears marvelous. Let's go."
"Have you tasted these oranges already?" El Capitan asks as he sucks on that beautiful orange orange. "Nope, I wanted you to have the first one."
He spits it out. My mind races, is there some poisonous orange disease in the Andes I don't know about? Have I just killed El Capitan? I better hurry up and taste mine.
I tear a hole in the peel, at least we'll die together. I suck the horribly sour juices out of the unripe orange. "Sorry, man. That's horrible." And we toss the oranges aside. Then this picture takes us.
As soon as you crest that last hill, you can see it. Its the biggest waterfall i've ever experienced alone (Niagara is huge but so are the crowds). Must've been 120 feet. But no more than a stream you could step across at the top. The pictures are laughably weak in the face of this fall's majesty.
So I convince El Capitan (believe me, his antics are over-represented because I am more often carrying the camera, not because he is gullible or easily convinced of the potential hilarty that could arise from whatever we are doing) to go tag the waterfall. I am skipping the first set of photos, because when he touched the falls, he was blocking his own arm from the camera so it wasn't official. The second round he went in with Gusto, he was going to add this Cascadas to his repotoire of tagged falls and I was cheering him on...until he slipped and then I started laughing. He was right in the falls again.
The face of a true Waterfall tagger.
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